Solo Female Travel: My Experience (and Lessons)
At the beginning of Landmannalaugar, Iceland
I love travelling solo. Ever since I remember, I’ve felt this immense sense of solitude moving throughout the world, never blindly following the crowd. As a kid, this manifested in a deep sense of quiet independence from an early age, yet luckily, staying out of trouble at the same time. I also enjoy travelling with friends and family, but one of the main benefits of travelling solo is that you can just get up and do whatever the h*ll you want at your own pace. It’s a special opportunity to leave old environments and to be unapologetically yourself. You get to take time for yourself, explore what really matters to you as an individual, and discover ways to give back to the world.
I haven’t always travelled, though: growing up, we usually kept our few trips local as that was all we could afford as a family, my mom has a fear of flying, and I’ve usually been a homebody (intentionally or not). I like stability and routine, but after a while, this can get stifling quick, and with the recent privilege of working from home, I often take much-needed trips outside the confines of my childhood home.
I think it was Marcel Proust who said something about seeing the same surroundings with fresh eyes, and this is definitely something worth keeping in mind especially if you can’t/don’t want to travel, but in this season of my life, I feel a deep calling to simply travel, so I’ve decided to roll with it. The following is my brief history and experience with travelling, including lessons learnt. Although it is possible to survive off a shoestring budget while backpacking or live off a trust fund if you’re lucky enough, the reality is that you have to fund your travels somehow, so there’s also a bit of my career path with advice for anyone seeking to take the leap into the unknown and ultimately enjoy sustainable, fulfilling and rewarding travels.
Family & School Trips
If you’re not in a place where you can enjoy family trips, trust me when I say it can be overrated and you’re not missing out on much. At least in my experience, being dragged around while doing the same dull, often touristy activities gets old very quickly, even if you don’t have to pay for anything. I’m undoubtedly very grateful for the time spent and enjoyed with family, especially at the cottages we’ve rented and briefly going to the Rockies in BC, but it’s all been mostly road trips and sightseeing. While this style of travel has its place, it’s like there’s a window between you and the world, and you’re not really engaging with the universe very deeply, just passing through as a spectator.
If you’re going through higher education and lucky enough to pursue the opportunity to work or volunteer abroad in the summer, jump on it! You never know what thing will lead to the next, so say yes to life. Many organizations can and will provide transportation and accommodation. Volunteer groups, work opportunities, staying with friends/family, house sitting, or even with a friendly AirBNB host can all help you get the lay of the land, familiarize yourself with the language and customs to get comfortable abroad, and ultimately become more deeply engaged, inspired and fulfilled during your stay as a citizen of the planet.
Takeaway Lessons From My School Years
Finding and funding your passions can take a while, but don’t give up: Around this time, I was going through the motions while focused on completing my illustration degree, so I took advantage of my vacations and mostly just stayed home to practice my craft, trusting that my work ethic would eventually get me somewhere. Aside from volunteer work at an art gallery in high school and a seasonal stint at a clothing store during my first year of college, finding a paid role was tough around this time, and this is where being too independent won’t pay off. It’s vital to stay open, help your community, and stay connected if you want to pursue the opportunities you want.
Travel-wise, I had the opportunity to visit NYC with my visual arts program in high school, then on a class painting and drawing trip to Italy during my second year of college. While this all would’ve been a dream, I wasn’t able to afford it, so I couldn’t go. My lifestyle was lacklustre and sedentary, mostly spent indoors with blue light from tech screens, I felt dead inside as I was living so separately from nature (including myself), the quality of my food was relatively garbage in retrospect (even as a vegetarian), and I was learning what it meant to get from surviving to thriving. In a situation like this, I’d say that actively getting healthier on a cellular level is the most important basic requirement to get to a better place, find a source of income in a way that fits your interests and abilities, and do what you can to ultimately find an enjoyable way to help people thrive.
Passion is the key to achieving what you want in this life. Any job can be taught but passion cannot. Even if you’re not in your desired place, passion will naturally develop and become sustainable in some way, keeping in mind that over time, priorities can and will change.
House sitting for cheap: In your school years, chances are you’ll be on a tight budget, so consider joining websites like TrustedHousesitters if you’re keen on holiday travelling while getting to know the community in a new environment.
Don’t underestimate the power of friendships and connections: To really achieve what you want in this life, being passionate enough will take you anywhere. This can be easier said than done, but you also have to be relentless, get clear on your goals, and ask for what you want. If you want positive change, you have to be your own advocate and believe in yourself despite all odds. No matter who you are or where you come from, and no matter how disconnected you might feel, you literally have the power to help co-create a sustainable world, move mountains, and shape your experience for the better. Never underestimate the power of positive and supportive human connection, respect and kindness, even in these bizarre times.
Gaining my footing and going with the flow post-grad
Mastering the transition from undergrad to the workplace can be daunting, and I definitely didn’t find it easy. You might not get your dream job at first, but every bit of experience matters, so it’s crucial to start off wherever you can get hired. There are valuable things to learn at ANY role, so take what serves and leave what doesn’t. Throughout my time completing my degree, my priorities and passions shifted and I didn’t have a clear sense of what I wanted to do when I graduated. Although my portfolio was pretty basic at the time, I was still at least armed with my degree, some valuable internship experience at a food and farming non-profit, and well-equipped for my next adventure (not that all of this is necessary for “success”, just that it was useful for my path). After diving in and settling into a role at a print production company, I got to know the ins and outs of the print production process, patiently paid off my school debt after a couple of years, and as a visual designer I can confidently declare that print will never die.
It was around this time that apps like Instagram really started to take off and transform the online culture that I was immersed in. I started to find inspiring accounts like Silverspies, Deliciously Ella and Kraut Kopf where I discovered the vast world of “superfoods” like buckwheat, cacao nibs, chia seeds, Styrian pepitas, various banana bread recipes and beautifully arranged oatmeals. For all of the vapidness that influencing can entail, I started craving and cooking with these foods and discovered that I never felt so good. I started becoming more sensitive, health conscious, and paying way more attention to how different inputs made me feel. I became inspired by how healthy many people lived in sunny Australia, how widespread it seemed to be to have the desire to connect back to country, with reconciliation as an ongoing way of life.
I started going to the gym, health food stores, raw food cafés and farmer’s markets, and as my diet and lifestyle drastically improved (relatively), so did my drive and capacity to do more for the world. Although I know I could’ve stayed in that role at the printing place for the rest of my life and continued to fund yearly trips, I began to feel unsatisfied at a certain point, knowing that I could really be building on my experience and doing so much more.
Afternoon stroll at Hortus Botanicus, Amsterdam
I started to dream of becoming nomadic but for now, it was nothing but an idea. Travel-wise, I was far from an actual nomadic lifestyle but I was now working full-time and finally able to at least fund yearly trips. In 2016 at age 25, inspired by the digital nomads I’d heard of, I went on my first semi-solo trip to Amsterdam in the Netherlands to meet up and explore the area with a friend. By booking my own flight and our hostel for the first time, I was able to dip my toes into the waters of solo travel for at least a few days before we met up in the city. Highlights include the free ferry across the river, exploring the city on bike with the locals, Rembrandt’s house, the Stedelijk, free food at my friend’s tech company, and biking out to the countryside so my friend could get raw milk from the dispenser.
In 2017 I volunteered once a week for the summer at a local food co-op (West End Food Co-op) in downtown Toronto, while getting to help with local events such as the Humber Ride 4 Real Food and the Wychwood Barns Annual Eco-Fair. My inner hippie really thrived and felt more at home in these eco-centric environments. It was a small co-op that has since undergone dissolution, but it was fun and something I was very passionate about. Helping prepare healthy, delicious, magical foods in the kitchen for the community and fundraising events gave me more kitchen experience and inspiration than I ever got at home.
Legendary turnip soup at Vik, Iceland that really stood out.
In 2018 I went on my first proper solo trip to Iceland, booking my own flights, housing, hiking group at Landmannalaugar, and everything. I was tragically vegan by this time, meaning that most of the food choices at that latitude weren’t really anything to write home about, but the main thing I learnt was that travel generally wreaks havoc on the body, and if you aren’t consciously making an effort to support local regenerative organic farmers, fishers and/or food growers in your new location, you’ll have a harder time staying healthy while travelling. It was an unforgettable, transformative experience, and Reykjavik is a very cozy and safe city, but as soon as I got home from that trip, the first thing I craved and cooked was an organic dahl with a boatload of colourful local vegetables and spices since I was feeling so inflamed from my flight and a week of mostly conventional foods.
My takeaway lessons from post-grad, funding my travels, and volunteering at a food co-op:
Pictures won’t ever do the Icelandic landscapes justice.
Don’t be afraid to reach out to fellow humans: This is something I actually struggle with, being more of an “introvert”, but any effort to be open, authentic and more connected has never failed me. I can even be aloof on social media, but it can be an amazing tool for connection and inspiration when used wisely. Whether it’s online, through volunteer/job applications, or with a hiking meetup, you can make authentic connections that actually align with your soul. On my travels, I was pleasantly surprised that most people are very nice and willing to lend a hand to a total stranger such as myself. Don’t let the odd rotten apple let you down.
But don’t go out past sunset: This is sort of a no-brainer and common practice if you’re a solo female traveller. I’ll admit that I have a streak of naive fearlessness and might get into a grey area by quickly going out to pick some organic food up for dinner, but generally, I just stay in my AirBNB/apartment/hostel/place I’m renting at night. I’ll usually listen to music, relax, plan my day ahead, make sure the entrance is locked, and cook something. This is also a good incentive to sleep early with a healthy circadian rhythm and to start the next day early and energized! Bars, clubs and alcohol aren’t my thing, but if you do go, try to bring a trusted buddy and always watch your drink, or don’t drink at all.
Safety tip: when you leave your accommodation for the day to go out and explore, leave a slip of paper in the side crack of the front door. When you return to open the door, if the paper doesn’t fly out, it’s likely that someone has entered while you were away.
Take more risks, remove society’s expectations, and use it as an opportunity to start fresh: Looking back, even though I’d reached my goal of a stable 9-5 job, a source of income and a way to invest in a TFSA, I felt a bit of jealousy towards those in my orbit who lived more precariously but took more risks directly post-grad. They were able to save up to take the leap of faith into sustainable budget travel with international youth working visas, and enjoyed rich, priceless life experiences, adventures and lessons that absolutely propelled their lives and careers. In times like these, I think it’s good to remember that there is always a light and dark side no matter what path you choose, and at the time, the sense of stability from an office desk job along with volunteering, digital skills workshops, and a bit of travel on the side was what I actually attracted and needed at that point in my life. There’s really no right or wrong here, just different paths using the tools we have access to!
Be assured that with any leap of faith you take, if things don’t work out, you can usually fall back to where you started and try again at another job or endeavour. The experience and lessons learned from such adventures are priceless. Enjoy the process, and find success in a life that is fulfilling for YOU. Honour and embody your values and the life you want to build, reflect on your own flexibility and capacity for the things you’d like to spend time doing. Let yourself be inspired by others, live and let live by allowing others to have their own human experience, but remember that you also have to live.
Don’t be afraid to aim high and get extravagant when it comes to your goals, believing in the impossible. I know it sounds so contrived as it can be easy to be dragged down by your environment (ie. no one around you has a similar vision, confidence, or lofty goals), but living with a fiery, undying passion is something that cannot be taught and will attract the opportunities and lessons meant for you.
Get minimal: It’s a trend today, but I “became” a minimalist around 2010 when I lived in a tiny apartment for school, inspired by Scandinavian interior design, and I’ve carried many of the money-saving and investing habits I developed to this day. Coming from a very frugal background and a modest family income, I’ve always enjoyed packing light and the challenge of whittling down to the bare minimum. Clutter and noise are too common in today’s world, and from all the material garbage, pollution, and corporations making money off of outer appearances, it’s no wonder savvy people around my age have evolved to value experiences, health, authentic soul expression, and the inner world rather than materialism. No doubt, consumption is a part of life, but consuming more consciously can manifest a better state of health, save time and money on our travels, reduce our impact on Mother Earth, and have greater inner peace for a full life lived without regrets.
Start off small to gain confidence with solo travel: As humans, most of us tend to thrive when we move, live freely, and stay open to new experiences. If you’re brave enough to say yes to life but want to ease in gradually, stick to safer cities that aren’t too different from your home location. For me, this meant sticking to Western/Schengen countries that don’t take too long of a plane ride to get to, and typically tend to be safer for solo female travellers. Who knows, I may end up branching out to more diverse locations in the future.
You could start supported with an organization or group (volunteer or paid experience, or even friends/family), and get accustomed to new environments before making plans to travel on your own. Itineraries may vary depending on your preferences, and at first you might prefer a rigid schedule, but I really recommend travelling without any fixed plans, or at least leave a lot of flexibility and fluidity with the plans you do have in place. Infinite doors of opportunity await you.
Explore working holiday visas: Post-grad is such a good time to explore and take risks with new experiences. With a working holiday visa, you can experience the world and get to have a job to fund your travels in a different country while rounding out your resume and work experience. A long list of countries participate, including Australia, NZ, Spain, Japan, Sweden, Italy, France, and way more. Most working holiday visas get cut off when you reach either age 30 or 35, so be mindful that time is ticking. After that age cutoff, you can always consider a different digital nomad visa in any participating country if you make enough and decide to go down that route.
WWOOFing: Take the invaluable opportunity to work/trade on an organic farm around the world. You won’t get paid, but they’ll house and feed you in return for a full-time gig, giving back to the land and experiencing new and alternative lifeways. Of course, you’ll have to pay for anything extracurricular including going out on the weekends, but all in all, definitely a good budget travel option that will help you learn and grow lots. I had a steady stream of income from my 9-5 so I haven’t actually pursued exploring WWOOFing yet (just in my own garden), but if you’re in a more precarious position, this can actually be great fuel to propel you into new ventures while gaining some solid work experience for a free stay in a new and healthy environment.
http://wwoof.net/ connects people with organic farms around the world.
Trusted Housesitters: House sitting can help you get creative with your living situation and travel on the cheap, especially if you’re on a tight budget. Not only do you get to bypass a typical tourist experience, but you can immerse yourself into a different environment and explore new places by house sitting at an authentic home for free.
Workaway.info: Another way to live virtually rent-free is to go on a work-living exchange. Take the leap, soak up alternative ways of living and enrich your experience on this planet.
A leap of faith and my first foray into digital slowmading:
In 2018, something shifted in me after my first solo Iceland trip. Camping in the mountains and immersing myself in vast nature in this unique part of the planet for a full week gave me this renewed energy along with the colourful whole foods I was regularly enjoying. My connection to the planet and my higher self deepened considerably, and this was not something that was possible living in my landlocked hometown, no matter how hard I tried to live closer to nature or re-enchant my way of living. After Iceland, I became much more confident that I, too, could drastically change the way I lived and get into healthier, more inspiring environments and states of being.
Knowing I had to do something different and following my inner compass, I put in my 2-week notice at the printing place and took on a design role in real estate marketing. Here I was able to use more of my skills while building my portfolio and beginning to mentor and support teammates. On the side in the evenings, I took a front-end web dev course at a coding school which was very useful as a designer, but I also learned that coding wasn’t for me (for the time being). An inner itch to start a food blog began to reawaken in the back of my mind so I wrote down ideas in my notebook and dedicated more spare time to content creation on my little Instagram account. I’d had this itch since 2016 but never really acted on it. Turns out that if you really want to build something, you’ll find a way to act on it.
Fast forward to 2020 and all the events. Riding it out, I leave my in-person job, take a giant leap of faith while unemployed and holed up in my childhood room, start a food blog on WordPress, learn DSLR photography and SEO through an online course, connect online with a range of local and international businesses and creators in the wellness and agricultural industries (mostly as Instagram mutuals), write loads of blog posts sharing what I’ve learned over the years, and get hired as a remote graphic designer with an amazing Canadian non-profit education company. This leap was the push I needed to grow, the epitome of going with the flow, spreading my wings and diving into dream jobs aligned with my values, truly believing it would all work out without the safety blanket of income.
It was also where I really began to flourish personally and professionally, all from mostly behind my computer screen. This role’s benefits are tenfold: I get to use my design skills, help mentor the team, contribute design work to a high-quality, nationally recognized education magazine (bucket list checked off), continue the lifelong journey of Indigenous reconciliation, support and cultural preservation, constantly question my assumptions and beliefs, learn better ways to improve my craft, grow new skills, learn new perspectives, and contribute to helping local communities thrive and live a better life.
Another perk of this remote role is—you guessed it—that I can physically travel while working. I’ve dabbled in local solo mini-vacations, relaxing on the beaches, getting to healthier, nature-centric environments, and getting sunlight in small towns while working full-time. It’s not all fun and games though, since AirBNBs can get expensive and I prefer slow, simple, frugal living over frantic activity and constantly planning out the travel logistics. At the end of the day, it’s so important to shake things up when you can and be inspired for fresh life.
Slowmading
Töölö, Helsinki
“Slowmading” (nomading but “slow”) is the art of slow, intentional travel, and going at a pace like this aligns with my nature better. I’m actually a homebody/’introvert’, but I also like to experience the world and get outside while being active. As an artist from an early age, I prefer to savour and dwell over the details meditatively while soaking up my surroundings rather than stressed out and frantically moving around. When I “slowmad”, I like to stay in only one or two locations for a few weeks or months at a time, and life is less stressful this way. I can soak up healthy and fresh environments, connect with the land and the cultures, learn more of the languages, live according to the 4 phases of my menstrual cycle for optimal health, and be more deeply inspired. Going at a slower pace also stabilizes my new routines in fresh, healthy environments, and all of this combines to enhance the quality of my output at work while supporting my team. Any time my workload gets busy, I can easily carve out time to dedicate to it on my laptop.
Another benefit to slowmading is that it’s healthier to get on a plane less often, more affordable to stay a while (especially with AirBNB discounts for longer stays), and less damaging to the environment if you’re going to be travelling long distances at all. By staying for longer periods of time, you can also find more ways to give back, keeping an eye open for volunteer opportunities, meetups, adventures, and ways to support social causes.
My income currently isn’t even enough to apply for a digital nomad visa in my preferred locations, but the 90 Schengen days is typically a good enough time for me before I start to feel a little burnt out.
My takeaway lessons from building new projects and my first foray into digital slowmading:
Write a big list of things to do in your new location:
I leave for Helsinki and Estonia later in the summer, and I’ve used my personal to-do lists to double as future blog posts with lots of room for fluidity and flexibility. It’s a good way to effortlessly maximize my time while creating helpful content all at once.
Save money, increase health, support local farms, cook on your own:
No matter what, I’ll find a way to go organic, regenerative, and locally grown, which is just such a priority for me that I usually cook almost everything on my own, even while travelling. This isn’t to a neurotic extent (you have to live your life!), but the more I discover farmer’s markets and support them by enjoying locally grown sun raised produce, the more I thrive while travelling and exploring life at different latitudes.
The more you do, the more you can do:
This is just some sort of law of the universe. The more energy you expend, the more you will gain. The more you create, the more creative genius you’ll reap. The more you feel loved and supported, the more you can add to your plate and be inspired to give back. At the same time, embracing boredom can enhance new perspectives, creativity, and a deeper understanding of yourself. Simply decide to act on your desires, and trust that things will unfold as they need to.
A certain amount of money and stability can create peace of mind, but at the end of the day it’s only a neutral form of energy. What’s your mission in life, and how can you give back to the world? Show your true self unapologetically, your true colours, and you’ll attract more aligned experiences and beings into your life. There will always be people who will actually match your vibration. Be yourself, and whoever that isn’t enough for isn’t for you.
Actually believe in yourself and the life you can create:
You can do it, you can succeed if you try. You are worthy and you deserve happiness. This was instilled into me as background noise from an early age. Still - how often do you actually realize that you are worthy of pursuing your dreams? For a long time, I’ve lived in a state of limbo and doubt (probably from many years of programming), but better health and a sense of belonging and connection woke me up to consider what I wanted to contribute, experience and create during my limited time on this planet.
Most people have a subconscious fear of unworthiness, leading to various patterns of self-sabotage. Reprogramming your subconscious can be as easy as weaving mantras into your daily life as simple as “I am safe”, “I am worthy”, “I am enough”. In a society that destabilizes trust in ourselves (and my god have I experienced this!), the most rebellious and noble thing you can do is to stick up for your authentic self (with healthy boundaries), actually dare to live out your dreams, and know you can create abundance, freedom and happiness so that others can see this for themselves.
Trust:
I used to scoff when people said things like “trust the universe”, mostly because I didn’t actually believe things would work out for me, but… try it. Trust will get you far, trusting yourself and having an undying faith that it’ll all work out in divine timing - and if it doesn’t, there will always be a lesson in there to help you grow. When I didn’t move with trust, my life got nowhere and I lived out the same old patterns. Too often we play it “safe”, we stay in our shells, living in fear. This isn’t to excuse reckless stupidity, but just follow your intuition when it comes to people and situations. Things won’t always go to plan, but there’s a bigger master plan. It’s cliché, but trust your intuition/gut and trust the flow of life and you’ll see the magic unfold in your favour.
Every path is unique, and we’re presented with experiences at the exact time that we need to learn and grow in this world. Say yes to adventure and spontaneity well into older age and you’ll surprise yourself with what you’re capable of, things you would never have done if you were playing it “safe”.
Bask in the loneliness:
Perhaps paradoxically, travelling solo has enabled me to relax into my true nature. Although it’s comfortable and fun to travel with people we know, travelling solo can expand your comfort zone and help you take the reins as the master of your destiny. Loneliness is a part of the human experience, and will inevitably crop up when you travel solo, even if you’re super independent like me, and can be very interesting to witness. Don’t numb the feelings out! Letting yourself experience uncomfortable/negative feelings is one of the most potent tools to expand your experience and connect with yourself, and can be a great way to practice equanimity and embrace the polarities of life. There’s a difference between lonely and being alone. We can feel lonely in a crowded room, or even at the center of attention. Being alone with deep peace and connection to yourself is a powerful thing.
In times of loneliness…
Get out into nature. Fresh air, sunshine on your skin, and bare feet on the earth is a potent reminder that you’re supported and deeply connected to the tapestry of life. Solo hiking is one of my favourite ways to relax, rest, and recharge, spending “alone” time in nature. We’re fundamentally one with the entire cosmos.
Locate the emotion in your body. Ask yourself: “what am I feeling?” “where am I feeling it?”
Feel it. Don’t reach for distractions (ie. drugs, alcohol, TV, smoking, video games, music, food, or other people!)
Get still, calm yourself, and observe the emotions and sensations as they pass. Remember the nature of impermanence and that this, like all sensations, is impermanent.
Practice gratitude: Who or what do you miss? How lucky you are to have nice memories to miss and cherish! The negative feelings provide contrast and depth with the positive ones.
Stay sober: Travelling is often synonymous with partying and all the substances that often come along with it. As with all tips, take it or leave it, but being sober and clear minded is something I actually prefer in my own life and especially when solo travelling! Facing myself is something I’m very comfortable with, and has helped me stay true to myself ethically, embracing my awkwardness and quirks. If you just don’t jive with people, move on, and you will eventually find people who embrace the authentic you. Be yourself, own it, all of it, and you’ll be propelled into life, supported by the universe.
Thank you for reading and I hope you found some of this useful! There may not be an ideal way to travel and live, but I hope this article inspires you to get out there to make memories for a lifetime whether you travel or not. Conscious solo travel is one of the best things I’ve done for myself, it helps me become a better human, and in turn, hopefully helping and inspiring you to do the same. May your travels result in your own valuable lessons with stories worth sharing.
Articles:
Work All Over the World Without Ruining It: Ethics for Digital Nomads on CNET
Everyone wants to be a digital nomad. Here’s how to do it ethically. on WaPo
